Technical support calls at Dell

These "silly tech support calls " have been around in e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support.

They are always fun to read. I'm in the mood for a good laugh. How 'bout you?


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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....


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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.


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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


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And last but not least...


Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

A GUIDE TO GET A JOB FOR LIFE

Hey Friends,

If you are a job aspirant looking for an ideal job for yourself than this place is meant just for you. Top companies' quest for expansion has led to a considerable increase in the job sector thereby increasing the number of job openings and the salary package offered. But the problem that many people face is in regard to selecting the best job that will suit there work profile and interest, here i will be clarifying the intricacies of the Indian job sector by providing some vital links that i have gathered over a period of time.

Although a good number of attractive job options are open the common man has to search intensively for that one right call, with the advent of internet as a source of communication it has become easier for the companies and job aspirants to be in contact with one another, gone are the days when newspaper used to be the only place to hunt for job openings now you can search for a job, practice recruitment papers, & even get interview experiences.

Now comes the more important question, where on the internet to look for that vital job opening information, interview questions and experiences, resume building tips, suggestions etc, this is where this blog plays a role in providing you some of the best known sites to go to in search of a dream job and all that you need in order to achieve it. Here i will be listing some of the best places over the internet for an Indian job aspirant in the hope that my experiences will be a help for all those who are rather unaware of the whereabouts of the job sector spread over the internet.


1. One of the best places for Job hunters is placementindia.com, it offers some excellent job openings for people from different educational backgrounds and work experiences (even for freshers). Resume writing tips given on the site are very useful for all those ho are still confused about building that ideal and impressive resume. You can sort out jobs based on the different parameters that differentiate your kinda job from the rest of it. They offer good number of excellent jobs on a fairly regular basis and are indeed a boon to the starving aspirants of quality jobs.


2. Now coming to rather the leader of the pack, Naukri.com is undoubtedly one of the best in its field and that is offering some very very good job openings, you can upload your resume on the site and whenever a job that matches your profile comes up your are informed by them. This is also a very good place to look out for jobs not only in India but overseas as well, with all the qualities of a complete job portal this site stands ahead of the rest in the business. You must visit this site to feast yourself on there vast experience in the field of placements and career making, as can be safely said considering the success stories they have produced.


3. I would now like to mention one of the more informative site indianjobs.in this innovative and rather different site offers you the know hows of the Indian job sector. It provides some of the most crucial information that a job seeker would like to know about what's happening in the job sector (and the top MNCs) in general. Overall i suggest that you should have a look into this quite out of the league site just to get a feel of things to come in the job sector.


4. Bestjobsindia.com as its name suggests is one of leading site for providing job opportunities to Indian people. They offer some very good features in a very organised manner, you can again upload your resume and also search for job from amongst the numerous mentioned already. One of the great features of the site is that it updates quite frequently and as a result it lists a particular job as soon as it is published.


5. Now coming to the needs of a fresher who has just passed out and is in search of a job that suits his needs that mainly revolves around a no work ex tag Freshersworld.com provides answers to the prayers of a desperate fresher in an inimitable fashion. This is a complete site for all those freshers out there, it has some of the best collection of jobs for freshers from almost every field and moreover the tips and suggestions on the site are top notch and along with the placement papers, interview questions and resume building tips it makes for an unmatchable combo.


6. Careerkhazana.com is again a saviour of a job aspirant worried about getting his type of ideal job. This site has one of the most comprehensive database of jobs available on the internet. You can post your resume and apart from Indian jobs you can also look out for some great overseas jobs if you are interested in working abroad. The site has some other wonderful features to boast of and is amongst the few sites that genuinely try to help the job seeker.


7. Now i come to a site that offers free registration and is indeed a boon to the desperate job seeker Indianjobsonline.com. It is not as good looking and organised as some other sites in its league but it covers up by offering some genuinely useful services in terms of superb placement opportunities and resource materials for different type of people having different requirements and eligibility.


8. Finally i would like to end this post by mentioning one of the sites that i look upto as being pivotal for any job aspirant. Vyomworld..com has some excellent features like loads of placement papers of top companies, interview questions and other resources for a job seeker. The emphasis is laid on a fresh graduate who has just crossed the college and is standing aghast in search of a good job matching his/her profile.


I hope that my list of sites helps people in getting there dream job, also please let me know if you have any specific query and i will try and answer that as soon as possible.

OWN THE INTERNET--EARN LOTS OF MONEY DOING NOTHING

This is AGLOCO™ 's proposition, just three words: Own the Internet.

Whenever you are online, either surfing, blogging, clicking on an ad, making a purchase, all the money generated by your activities is pocketed by a small number of players. At AGLOCO™ they say not anymore!

AGLOCO™ is a global community, whose owners are its Members (you and potentially the millions of internet users out there). Their goal is to capture a significant portion of the value generated by our online activities and return it to Members in cash. Best of all, it is totally free, Members will NEVER have to pay anything, nor will they have to disclose ANY personal information!


How does this work? Once you sign up on their website, when available you will be able to download the Viewbar software, a free toolbar-sized application (half the size of a traditional Windows tool bar) that quietly sits on your desktop without ever hampering your online habits. That’s all you need to do! Just continue using the Internet as you used to… no need to change your habits!

Do you have several individuals using one computer? You can have different AGLOCO™ viewbars to fit the profile of each user.

Don’t want to see or use the Viewbar at any given time? Just minimize it and the Viewbar stops working!

There are different ways AGLOCO™ can make money for its Members:

• Cash: You get cash by surfing the Internet while the Viewbar is running. AGLOCO™ ’s profits are distributed back to its Members. And you can also receive real-time discounts should you choose to purchase from AGLOCO™ ’s partners. They will never include gambling or adult entertainment sites as partners.

• Shares: In addition to cash, AGLOCO™ will give out shares in the company to its Members. Eventually, AGLOCO™ plans to go public and will be traded on the London Stock Exchange AIM. You can start earning stock options by keeping Viewbar active while you surf. In addition, you will gain extra shares by referring active users to AGLOCO™ (they lose nothing). Click here to see the calculator.

The more people join AGLOCO™ , the more value the community can generate for itself. The company believes those that build the community deserve more: your own profits become larger the more people you refer. You can accumulate hours not only from your Internet activity but also from those who you refer, and their referrals too… Up to 5 levels underneath you! For example, if you refer 10 people and all of them refer 5 people each, you could make over 7000 shares a month*!

Remember, this is all free, you don’t lose anything, all you have to do is sign up, download the Viewbar and that’s it. Build your network and refer friends, family and colleagues to AGLOCO™ and earn even more!

The guys behind this idea include several Stanford MBA’s and a few individuals who started AllAdvantage back in 1998, which gave over $100 million to its users before falling victim to the burst of the internet bubble. Today, the context is much more favorable: The sophistication of on-line commerce, the rapid emergence of communities, the wealth of advertising revenue sources, etc. Isn’t it time you got your share of the Internet?

Don't wait any longer. This is a win-win opportunity, and you’ll make it even more profitable for yourself when you start referring friends and relatives before others get to them! Since I assume you learned about AGLOCO™ thanks to my website*, please don’t forget to add my referee ID when signing up: BBCG4410 . Click here to sign up directly!

A professor at an IIM was explaining marketing concepts:

A professor at an IIM was explaining marketing concepts:



1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing



2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you
says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising.



3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
Marry me." - That's Telemarketing.



4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door
(of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride
and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's
Public Relations



5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" - That's Brand
Recognition.



6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -
That's
Customer Feedback.



7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's
demand and supply gap.



8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry
me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market
share.



9. You see and gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you
say: "I'm rich Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for
entering new markets.